Author: Phyllis Shacter

The Infinity Burial Suit: An Eco-Conscious Burial

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Learn how mushrooms are taking green burial to a whole new level in this conversation with Namrata Kolla from Coeio.

On January 12, 2017 10 am Pacific/1 pm Eastern End Of Life University is hosting Namrata Kolla on  her End of Life University interview series to talk about Coeio and the eco-conscious burial process.

Call-in Number: (425) 440-5100
Code:  882570#
Listen online: http://iTeleseminar.com/93242046

Karen Wyatt, the founder of End Of Life University is hosting Namrata Kolla who works as the Partnerships Manager at Coeio. Coeio is a company that is involved in the end of life management from an environmental conservation point of view through their infinity Burial products. It is a new and coming topic called Green Burial. The Infinity Burial Suit incorporates the detoxifying and aid in decomposition of mushrooms.

You can watch Jae Rhim Lee’s TEDTalk about his inspiration and vision of the Mushroom Burial Suit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7rS_d1fiUc&feature=youtu.be

For more information on the Coeio products you can visit their site: http://coeio.com/

 

Assisted Dying Positively Supported By Desmond Tutu

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Desmond Tutu, world renowned for his presence in the Apartheid movement in South Africa, said that he would like the option of assisted dying. He explained that being able to peacefully die and let go of one’s own life is an act of compassion. Terminally ill people should not have to live their last days in pain. Physician assisted dying can create a good quality of life. 

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/07/desmond-tutu-assisted-dying-world-leaders-should-take-action

Jainism: Santhara/Sallekhana

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Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking is not new. It is merely becoming more common in our culture as people learn more about it. There are many ways to approach VSED. While my husband was considering to go through VSED, I learned that some of the Jains in India do this at the end of their life. It is part of their religious beliefs.

When I educate others about VSED and end of life issues, I am not discussing this in the context of religion. I think of VSED as a compassionate way to exit this life when a person does not want to experiences the alternative choices available to them. It is applicable in the face of many debilitating diseases that cause a great deal of suffering.   

http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/09/02/436820789/fasting-to-the-death-is-it-a-religious-rite-or-suicide

Why Aren’t We Talking About It?

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I wrote my first Health Directive when I was forty years old. It felt uncomfortable. Now it feels so routine when I update my Health Directive because I’ve exercised the muscle of learning about end of life choices. I acknowledge that death is a certainty and an extension of life.

Maybe someday everyone will fill out a basic Health Directive when they get their driver’s license. Once we turn eighteen years old, if we don’t have a Health Directive, we turn our power over to the medical profession to make decisions for us. By talking about our values and wants with loved ones we can pave the path to a more conscious way of dying. 

The conversation project is also a great resource for discussing end of life choices.

http://theconversationproject.org/

End of Life Choices Conversation Starter

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It’s important to have many ways to initiate the conversation with your loved ones about your end of life wishes. Then they can be written into a formal Health Directive which is witnessed and notarized.

This is another tool to help you get started and stay on track!

As elders in our larger community, we have a responsibility to be role models for younger people. I feel this all the time in my own life. I’m aware of how keenly younger people want to know about aging and end of life issues.

http://www.aafp.org/news/health-of-the-public/20161205conversationstarter.html

End of Life Choices For Young People With Life Limiting Conditions

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Many parts of Europe are far more enlightened about end of life choices and the compassion that surrounds it. It is horribly sad when we think about young people dying early in their life. Yet when this occurs, we want to have compassionate choice available to us. End of Life choices affect not only elder people but young people too. Below is a link to a full case study and guideline recommendations on how to deal with end of life care, compassion and choices with young people 0-17 with life limiting conditions. 

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng61

Ethical Perspectives about VSED

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Recently, I helped organize and speak at the first national conference on VSED. It was held at Seattle University October 14-15, 2016. About 225 people attended, mostly professionals. The conference was excellent.

If you go to https://phyllisshacter.com/the-story/1st-national-conference-vsed/ you can read the article about the conference. 

This article by Norman Cantor is worth reading about various ethical perspectives about VSED. It’s difficult for me personally to think that a court could uphold and go against someone end of life wishes. We have to be vigilant about our rights. This can be a slippery slope.

Honing the Emerging Right to Stop Eating and Drinking

Important End of Life Conversations

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This is an all too human story. Having supported my mother and my husband through their end of life choices, I am grateful for the clarity of information that existed between them and me. They were open about their wishes. We had good communication. Many people don’t have these conversations because it creates discomfort for them. Usually, it’s the children who have conflicted issues about discussing the end of life. They don’t want to acknowledge their parents’ deaths.  Following that, they have to acknowledge their own death because it is something we all will eventually face. 

I remember how difficult it was for me to talk about these issues with my own mother. It took years before I got comfortable with it. The conversations made me feel very sad because I had to face that I would lose her someday. I loved her very much. Nevertheless, I learned so much about end of life issues from her courageous demonstration. She was a teacher to me. She certainly helped me pave the way for clear communication with my husband once he was diagnosed with both Alzheimer’s and laryngeal cancer. 

https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/a.102107073196735.4429.102099916530784/1458675897539839/?type=3&theater

 

Margot Bentley’s VSED Story

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When I presented recently at the first national conference on VSED at Seattle University, Katherine Hammond followed me in the program. She was Margot Bentley’s daughter and Health Agent. She tearfully told a tragic story about how her mother’s Health Directive was not honored in a nursing home. When she could no longer feed herself, she wanted to be able to stop eating and drinking. The nursing home would not allow this to occur. With the Alzheimer’s getting progressively worse, her mother was kept alive for many years until her body turned rigid. There was a police order that prevented her daughter from taking her home where she would be able to not eat and drink and die peacefully. This is what her health directive requested. Sometimes we are grateful for a death. This is one of those times. Margot Bentley finally died at the nursing home in the Vancouver area in Canada. In order to prevent pain from her body becoming rigid, her doctor gave her additional morphine. Then she died.

From Vancouver Sun [PNG Merlin Archive]

http://vancouversun.com/health/seniors/margot-bentley-dies-a-finality-that-couldnt-come-too-soon-for-anguished-family

If you are interested in how the story has progressed here are the first two articles about the Margot Bentley case:

MEDICINE MATTERS: A family's anguish as nursing home continues feeding vegetative patient

MEDICINE MATTERS: CEO apologizes to family for breach of privacy by care aide in Margot Bentley case

Facebook Page

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The more people are aware of their choices around death and dying, and talk about this with their medical providers and friends and family, the more support we will have from others and our societal institutions.

When I post with my FB Friends, it is my intent and request that you share this with your FB Friends. I want these posts to go viral because my work today is for All of Us. I believe that having support for how and when we die is a basic human right. It’s no different than how we’ve worked hard for civil rights, women’s rights, voting rights. This are Human Rights and they apply to everyone. We all know we have to be vigilant with these rights so we protect them and keep them.

The more people are aware of their choices around death and dying, and talk about this with their medical providers and friends and family, the more support we will have from others and our societal institutions. For example, in order for someone to have a good death by Voluntary Stopping Eating & Drinking (VSED), like my husband had, we need to have knowledgeable doctors who will support someone through the VSED process. This is critical! If this doesn’t occur, a person can suffer needlessly as their body breaks down in the normal dying process. 

Over and over again, we have been part of and witnessed social change. Often there are slow incremental changes, and it may not even look like anything is happening. It’s like water turning to ice. It get colder and colder and colder, and there is no perceptible difference, and then all of the sudden the water becomes ice and we see the change. 

Let my FB messages on the Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking FB Page, and and my website www.PhyllisShacter.com go viral. Send these messages to people all over the world. Information empowers us to make good decisions. I’m hoping people will learn about their choices, and then over time be able to face their death with more equanimity. Before my husband died, I was terrified of death. It was the fear that was underneath all of my fears, but I didn’t know this. Once his death was right in front of me, I had to look at it. He prepared consciously for his death. He was even curious about it. He had a good quality of death. His biggest legacy to me is helping me lose my fear of death. As a result, everyday is brighter. 

Yes, send the FB posts and the link to my website to all your Friends. Spark new conversation. Trust me, it’s liberating to talk about our end of life choices.