Asking for help was the first step toward getting help. I now understand that when we ask for help, we are surrendering to Life, to the Divine.- Phyllis
Soon after, I woke up one morning, exhausted and soon in tears. I knew that I wouldn’t make it through the day. I couldn’t stop crying. I picked up the phone and called my dearest friend. I remember the words. I said “I’m drowning. I won’t make it through the rest of today. More is being asked of me than should be asked of any one human being. I need some help.” Reading all the books or listening to all the sermons about “ask and you shall receive” doesn’t do anything unless you really ask. So asking for help was the first step toward getting help. I now understand that when we ask for help, we are surrendering to Life, to the Divine. And in our case, the Divine came through you and you and you.
My friend and I decided to meet the following week with two more of my friends. When we all met, this same friend knew about an online Care Calendar (www.carecalendar.org). She knew someone who adapted it for a friend, and she said she would look into setting it up for us. Soon it was all set up.
I had also contacted the wonderful minister at the Center for Spiritual Living. She was quite new at the time. I explained that Alan had played in the CSL band for the past seven years, and had thus made a big contribution to the CSL community. I asked her if it was possible to get help from people at CSL. Within a couple of days, the minister contacted another person who is a rabbi and member of CSL. This woman heads the Mitzvah team. In Yiddish a mitzvah is a blessing or a very good deed. This meant that within days, we had a combined list of over 100 people to send information to about the Care Calendar and our needs. Some of the people were from CSL; others were close friends; others were acquaintances. We also used the Care Calendar to stay in touch and update family and friends who are not local.
At first we asked for people to help two or three times a week, to take Alan to medical appointments, to come over and help him with a meal, or to help him take supplements so I could take a walk or order supplements or contact the naturopath, which I did often. Then it got to a point where I was so tired and experiencing a lot of anxiety and lack of sleep, and I asked for help almost every day of the week. On most of those days, someone signed up for two to four hours so that I could get some relief.
It felt scary and vulnerable to ask for people to help us almost every day. But the response was miraculous.- Phyllis
It felt scary and vulnerable to ask for people to help us almost every day. But the response was miraculous. People signed up that we didn’t even know. One person took Alan too many medical appointments in Seattle and Anacortes. We didn’t even recognize his name when it first appeared on the Care Calendar, and he said he would be happy to help. Many others drove him to local appointments. One couple showed up almost weekly even though their own lives were very busy and stressed. Another friend’s husband signed up and we had never met him. Other people helped me grocery shop and run errands. Others came over to keep Alan company and go for a short walk with him. One friend brought a healthy meat dish to us weekly. Others shoveled snow for us when it snowed. Alan’s sister generously came and stayed with us for one month, and this lightened the Care Calendar a lot. During that time, another friend took me away for five days to relax. And I had special friends who took walks with me and listened to me. I had a women’s group who listened to me month after month. People came over to the house and gifted Alan with Reiki, Network Chiropractic, EFT, Resonance Repatterning, and Hypnotherapy. This was all offered and gifted. I was gifted with haircuts, massage, Reiki, and Resonance Repatterning. I kept saying that all these people were angels in human disguise.
None of this happened until I asked for help. There is truth in the saying, “Ask and you shall receive.”- Phyllis
None of this happened until I asked for help. There is truth in the saying, “Ask and you shall receive.” I needed to ask and surrender to to energy larger than myself. The first step was Alan feeling and visualizing his good health and stating his intentions. Then the next step was for me to ask for help. Then the Community Healing began to unfold. We learned that in the Giving is the Receiving. Many people’s needs were met by giving to us. It took a while for me to see and understand this. This understanding made it easier for me to to ask for help and to receive the help with grace.
Two friends managed the Care Calendar. I would send the updates about Alan and they would send them out to the entire Care Calendar list. The updated Care Calendar needs would be emailed at the same time. And every time it was magical. Within about twenty-four hours, people signed up for weeks ahead. It was overwhelming. I would look at the Care Calendar and just cry. My tears began to change from tears of despair and feeling sorry for myself to tears of deep gratitude.
Our naturopathic and dental expenses have been extensive. We are on Medicare with a Supplement, but none of these expenses are covered. So we couldn’t even consider hiring people to help us in the house. But now I know that if we had unlimited funds, the same kind of healing may not have occurred. Because every time someone came to our house to help, Love walked in the door. Kindness walked in the door. You can’t hire Love and Kindness.
It became clear that our village was a group of people who were performing a Healing for Alan in Community.
It is hard to put into words how we feel about all the people who helped us. We feel that gratitude all the time, and it has made us more loving and kinder people. It has also made it easier for both of us to receive love from others.
And one of the biggest things I learned was that LOVE IS. KINDNESS IS. Love is not about a particular person. It’s about action and vibration that comes through a live being to another live being. Our lives have been changed because of the love and kindness that has come our way. There is enough love for all living beings on earth.